You must have been living in Siberia with no access to the outside world, if you haven't come across the #TimesUp and #MeToo movements. In case you have just returned from Siberia and have clicked on to my page as a way of updating yourself with the happenings of the world (totally would happen), here's a quick overview.
Women, particularly in Hollywood have been speaking up and effectively removing the silence and shame around the sexual harrassment & abuse they have been suffering at the hands of powerful men all these years. They are speaking up about the pressure to sleep with directors/other people in power in order to get jobs and also sexual harrassment & abuse being a core part of the industry that people have turned a blind eye to forever. In turn, this is causing women from different industry's and women in general, to speak about the sexual abuse they have experienced, which is, very importantly, ending the silence on something that has never been spoken about in our society.
To say that I am thrilled about this movement is an understatement. I have worked in the area of Sexual Assault and with Sexual Assault survivors for quite some time now and when people have asked me what I do for a job, my answer shuts the conversation down. I've witnessed people feeling too uncomfortable to talk about sexual assault and, if you dare comment on the patriarchal culture that enables sexual assault, you are written off as an anti-men, ranting and raving, raging feminist. I've also witnessed the shame that survivors feel in not being able to speak up about their experiences because of the victim-blaming culture that will respond to them.
For me, as a woman, I have experienced sexual harrassment in almost every workplace I have been in, as well as in gyms, on the street, in restaurants. It has been a part of growing up female from the time I was 13. And I am not alone. Every woman I have spoken to speaks of the same experience. Most of us have had that moment when an inappropriate remark is made and we laugh awkwardly and try and remove ourselves from the situation. I re-call being at the gym with a personal trainer when another gym member approached us and made a sexual remark about me and the trainer. I froze. I didnt know how to respond but I also didnt feel I could speak up, due to fear of offending him. Hear that, he was offensive to me but I didnt want to tell him it wasnt ok, as I didnt want to upset him!! So I laughed awkwardly and moved to a different area of the gym. I felt ashamed that I hadnt spoken up. Even my trainer said he didnt know what to say so said nothing. This is the kind of harrassment that so many of us deal with on a daily basis. So yes, thrilled about this huge movement and the revolution that will change the culture for our daughters and their daughters, is an understatement.
I just have one gripe. The women of Hollywood are our most elite group of women in the world. They are beautiful, talented, wealthy - the trifecta of perfection for women. The majority are also very white. Women all over the world have been banging the drum of female equality for many many years now. These are ordinary, yet extraordinary, women who are from all different classes, races, cultures. And yet, the message has only been heard when spoken by our most elite group of women. That just rubs me the wrong way and takes some of the shine off what is an epic movement happening right now.
Anyway. My hope is that our daughters and their daughters will not feel the shame of sexual abuse and harrassment. That they will feel they can speak up and name it when someone says something inappropriate to them. That they are not sexualised while engaging in day-to-day activities. And ultimately, that the culture that enables sexual assault is shattered and replaced by a culture that supports and upholds equality. Because that is the world we deserve to live in.
#TimesUp